A Poem by Esther Rosenfeld

This morning I woke up and I almost didn’t want the sun to shine 
It’s as if time and space are null and void
Time is being gouged until it’s just an illusion where morning and night meet 
Where content and overwhelming emotions meet 
Where my sanity and safety converge into one and it feels as though they are the same thing 
I am like a reservoir and my eyes are fountains 
Today, I’m moving my tears away to make space for more 
Today, I am fright ridden yet so serenely calm all at once 
They say we never had control of our lives and it was always just an illusion 
But I want my lucid illusion of the world to become a reality 
To become my reality
Because in reality, I am not asking why this is happening or how this could’ve happened 
The reality is, I do not want to play a worldwide game of survival of the fittest because I know too many people who would loose 
I want to dance to the rhythm of my very breath that I am so damn thankful for because 
With every sigh of distress and with every sigh of relief I know that I am just as alive as always 
And that this too shall pass 
Tonight, when the sun will set, the midnight glow of the moon will keep me up and I’ll be wondering what will be 
But I know for sure that tomorrow will bring a new day
The sun will rise and set dozens of times more over the world 
No, even more than that 
The world has come to a standstill but my world keeps spinning until I’m dizzy to the point of nausea 
I sit with my head between my knees to ebb the flow of my tears and my thoughts that keep springing up on me 
Catching me by surprise as if I did not see nor feel it coming 
And none of us saw this coming, it reared up on us all as unexpectedly as it shouldn’t have 
But I stopped planning my life long before this all went down 
We’re all in the same boat 
But today, mine is riding in my river of tears 
And that’s okay

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